Will (Lantner) is holding a birthday party when a series of asteroids start striking the city. He hits the streets with pals Calvin and Lisa (Johnson and Kardashian), plus the sassily pregnant Juney (Flanagan), soon hooking up with an Enchanted princess (Parker). They all go to rescue Will's estranged girlfriend (Minnillo), who's trapped in the museum where she works and has figured out that a stolen Crystal Skull holds the secret to all the chaos outside.

Friedberg and Seltzer are cranking these movies out, clearly without checking to see if any of them contains an actual joke. Meet the Spartans didn't, and neither does this one. They merely make haphazard pop culture references without any satire or humour. So here we have 10,000 BC, No Country for Old Men, Wanted, High School Musical, Hancock, Step Up 2, Jumper, Speed Racer, Sex and the City--have you spotted the connection yet? That's right, there isn't one.

The film is also populated with impersonations of people in the news, but who are so badly impersonated that they require an introduction ("Look everyone, it's Jessica Simpson"). There are utterly random appearances from every superhero, unspeakably clunky musical numbers and lots of scenes in which women get smacked in the face but won't die already. Apparently the filmmakers love that.

That Friedberg and Seltzer keep churning out these painfully inept movies just proves that there's no justice in the world. To be honest, I laughed once (at a very badly played gag) and lost count of how many times I groaned as lame jokes were repeated and most scenes dragged out endlessly (the chipmunk sequence seems to last longer than the actual Chipmunks movie). And frankly, when your final gag refers to The Love Guru, itself one of the unfunniest films of this or any year, you know it's time to try something else for a change. Or get out of the business altogether.

themes, language, vulgarity, innuendo, violence

1.Sep.08