The ex-con Xander Cage (Diesel) is a renegade publicity seeker, using extreme sports to make political points. (Did you spot the three X's in that sentence? Bingo!) So naturally he's recruited by NSA agent Augustus Gibbons (Jackson--and yes, the name gets a laugh) to be an ultra secret spy, infiltrating the Czech hideout of a super-villain (Csokas) and his babe-a-licious sidekick Yelena (Argento).

The Bond connection is so complete that the Broccoli family could probably sue. X is a loyal agent who flouts the rules at every chance. Gibbons is the M figure--suave, calm and collected, and always appearing in the right place at the right time. Yelena is the bad girl who falls into a clinch with the hero. There are girls in bikinis all over the place. And there's even a Q character in goofy gadget expert Shavers (Roof).

The acting is as paper thin as the plot ... that is to say, it services the film by holding things together just enough to carry us to the next action set piece. And there are plenty of those, with stunt work that makes your head spin, even if it's all so contrived and unreal that we never even remotely feel a twinge of tension. Everything explodes into a massive ball of flames for no reason at all. And this overblown fakery makes it impossible to buy into the film at any level. Especially with characters and situations that are so badly underdeveloped.

The main difference is that this film lacks the sophisticated humour and absurdity that makes Agent 007's adventures so involving and visceral. All of the laughs here are unintentional; the feeble attempts at humour are thrown away. And while it's definitely watchable drivel, continuous kinetic energy without any suspense is pretty boring, really.