If only. The script features more smutty innuendo than is humanly positive, only just managing to avoid being offensive by staying profoundly silly and ignorant. Everything is broad and obvious, from the gay stereotypes to the buxom bimbos to the "manly" tanning team coach (Shaye). It feels written by and for boob-obsessed idiots who have never met a normal gay guy in their lives, then someone inserts a schmaltzy "homosexuals are people too" scene to try to make amends. Meanwhile, the entire cast hams its way through the story shamefully, with non-stop cheeriness and forced smiles that look like they hurt. And it all cranks up to the predictably zany wedding scene, complete with a priest who's losing his faith, a row full of flaming poofs and a tuxedoed dog (who easily gives the best performance). Then there are two more endings beyond that, trying to be funny and silly and romantic and failing on every count. If only it had been a North Atlantic cruise, with an iceberg lurking in the mist, and Celine wailing in the distance....