John Clark (Gere) works a dull job in Chicago and travels home by commuter train to his loving and intelligent wife (Sarandon) and kids (Hope and Sands). But something's missing. And he places his hopes on the mysterious dance instructor Paulina (Lopez), gazing out from her studio along the El track. John decides to take dancing lessons without telling his wife. She gets suspicious and hires a private detective (Jenkins). Important Life Lessons ensue.

Honestly, Gere and Lopez are talented enough to know by now that romantic comedy is not their forte (avoid also Autumn in New York and Maid in Manhattan). Everyone else gives it their all; the only ones who engage us are John's fellow dance students Cannavale, Miller and especially the always-marvellous Tucci. But by over-explaining every scene and constantly restating the themes, the script undermines anything the cast can add.

Meanwhile, Chelsom continues his transformation into an A-list hack. After the lovely Hear My Song and The Mighty, his directorial style been straightjacketed into anonymous Hollywood slickness. The film looks lush, but there's simply no flair at all. The dance sequences are sometimes beautiful, but they're badly framed and uninvolving, while the photogenic, soft-focussed cast never manages to convince us that they're a bunch of hopeful losers.

But this is only part of the problem in a film so deeply, achingly unconvincing that we just want to slap everyone on screen! Maybe the main mistake was sticking so closely to Suo's plotline while jettisoning all of his delicacy. Perhaps screenwriter Wells should have made it a sexier, more lusty romance. No, I think they should have just saved their millions and encouraged everyone to watch the masterful original on DVD--or even Baz Luhrmann's wonderful Strictly Ballroom. That would have saved us the agony of sitting through this mess.